Men of Gold with Dayne Weston

Published on 15th August 2023

This week, I’m joined by former rugby league player Dayne Weston who shares his footy and personal life challenges.

Dayne bravely opens up about the impact of childhood trauma, performance-based love, and his struggles during a difficult divorce. Through his own experiences, he emphasizes the need for open dialogue and understanding surrounding mental health issues, both in sports and society.

Throughout the interview, Dayne reflects on the evolving approach to mental health within rugby league clubs. He highlights the positive influence of well-being teams and empathetic coaches, stressing the importance of creating a supportive environment for players to discuss their mental well-being.

Dayne passionately advocates for year-round mental health awareness and dispels the stigma associated with seeking help; including what he is doing to support men through Men of Gold.

Join us for an inspiring and honest conversation as Dayne sheds light on the significance of vulnerability, mental health support, and fostering a culture of compassion in sports. This episode challenges the status quo and encourages listeners to prioritize mental health conversations and create a more inclusive and supportive community.

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Excerpt from Episode

” We got promoted into the super league. That was one of the coolest experiences, but I was so unhappy. I won all the awards at the presentation that year, literally all of them and was still miserable. Nothing could make me happy.

 – Dayne Weston 

In this podcast episode, I welcome Dayne Weston, a former NRL player and the founder of Men of Gold AU, to delve into the topic of vulnerability and mental health. With a diverse background as a rugby league athlete, a devoted husband and father of three, and a strong advocate for mental health improvement, Dayne’s journey is an inspiring one.

Dayne’s mental health journey has been shaped by his own personal experiences and struggles. He believes that being open about his journey is crucial to breaking the stigma around mental health and creating understanding for others who may be going through similar challenges. He emphasizes the importance of sharing lived experiences, as it helps people realize that they are not alone in their struggles and encourages them to seek help and support.

Dayne’s mental health challenges began at a young age, largely influenced by childhood trauma, such as his parents’ divorce. He grew up in an environment where vulnerability was not modeled, and emotions were often suppressed, leading to feelings of emptiness and loneliness. These unresolved emotional issues continued to impact him throughout his life, even during his successful rugby league career.

During his rugby league career, Dayne faced performance-based pressure, where his self-worth was tied to his success on the field. He felt the need to maintain a tough exterior and keep his mental health struggles hidden from others, including his family. Despite achieving success in his career, he felt miserable and even contemplated suicide at times.

Dayne highlights the importance of mental health support within the rugby league clubs. While some clubs have made progress in addressing mental health through wellbeing teams and education programs, there is still room for improvement. He believes that players should feel comfortable enough to openly share their mental health struggles without fear of judgment or ridicule.

Drawing from his own experiences, Dayne advocates for a shift in how society approaches mental health in sports. He believes that mental health breaks should be treated with the same consideration as physical injuries and that it’s essential to normalize discussions about mental health year-round. He expresses frustration that mental health issues are often treated as taboo topics, and more effort is needed to destigmatize and raise awareness about mental health challenges.

In his advocacy work, Dayne aims to create an environment where vulnerability is embraced, and individuals can seek help and support without shame or judgment. He believes that open conversations about mental health can lead to positive changes and better support systems for athletes and the wider community. By sharing his own story and speaking openly about mental health, Dayne hopes to inspire others to do the same and work towards a more compassionate and understanding society.

 

The conversation takes a deeper turn as Dayne discusses his passion for mental health, driven by his personal struggles. He stresses the importance of openness and sharing lived experiences to promote understanding and support for mental health issues. Despite having a successful outward appearance, Dayne admits to battling depression and anxiety and the stigma that surrounds mental health challenges, especially for men.

Dayne’s journey of finding faith and attending church provided unexpected comfort and support, reinforcing the theme of vulnerability as a catalyst for healing. He highlights the need to empower vulnerability and combat shame surrounding mental health issues, as he shares his own transformation from a victim mindset to taking ownership of his life.

To create a safe space for men to share their emotions and experiences, Dayne founded Men of Gold AU, a community-driven initiative that aims to empower vulnerability in men. This idea was sparked during Dayne’s time at Melbourne, where he witnessed the power of men opening up and sharing in a men’s circle facilitated by Peter Robinson, the wellbeing officer. Inspired by this experience, Dayne wanted to create a similar space where men could freely express themselves without judgment.

The idea of Men of Gold took shape in September of the previous year when Dayne felt a strong sense of urgency to bring his vision to life. Initially, he wanted to provide a men’s group where men struggling with mental health challenges or seeking support could come and be themselves. The goal was to create an atmosphere where men felt safe and comfortable enough to share their feelings and experiences. To achieve this, Dayne partnered with a local church to utilize their cafe space as a meeting venue.

Recognizing the importance of teamwork, Dayne assembled a dedicated team of like-minded individuals who shared his passion for improving men’s mental health. They worked together to promote Men of Gold and hold regular gatherings every Monday. The group started with an introductory night that saw 73 men attending, and it has been growing ever since. The sessions revolve around highs and lows, allowing men to share their experiences openly and create a supportive community.

Dayne emphasizes that Men of Gold is not a Christian-based group, despite using a church space. It is open to men of all backgrounds, and he’s committed to making it a safe and inclusive environment for everyone. The initiative relies on community support and sponsorships to ensure its continuity and growth. Dayne’s vision is for Men of Gold to expand its presence to multiple locations and reach more men in need.

For those interested in joining Men of Gold, Dayne encourages reaching out through their Instagram page, “menofgoldau,” where updates on upcoming events and gatherings are posted. Although there isn’t a website yet, word of mouth and community engagement remain essential in spreading awareness about the group. Dayne envisions a future with more resources and a website to further support men seeking help and camaraderie on their mental health journey.

Dayne’s commitment to empowering vulnerability and promoting mental well-being among men is evident in his dedication to Men of Gold AU. By providing a space where men can share their stories and support one another, Dayne hopes to break the stigma surrounding mental health and foster a community of openness and understanding. His passion for making a positive impact in the lives of others shines through, as he continues to work towards making Men of Gold a transformative and accessible resource for men from all walks of life.

 

In conclusion, I ask Dayne to share a self-care activity that brings him joy. Dayne mentions his love for coffee and listening to the Joel and Fletch podcast, revealing a part of his authentic self that resonates with many.

Overall, this podcast episode revolves around Dayne’s remarkable journey, stressing the power of vulnerability in men’s mental health and the transformative impact of sharing lived experiences. Through Men of Gold AU, Dayne strives to foster a culture of openness and support, encouraging men to break free from the shackles of shame and embrace their vulnerabilities as a path towards healing and growth.

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